Throwback – New Orleans Saints

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Team Colors
Note: Names not official
Black
Gold
Mustard Gold (pants)

The dark period of the ‘Aints had a few moments of light.  From 1971 to 1982 the Saints had Archie Manning at quarterback.  This generation might know him as the father of Cooper Manning (The Best That Never Was), Peyton Manning (Monsieur Fivehead) and Eli Manning (Is It Clutch Time).  Archie was an extremely talented quarterback stuck in an extremely terrible football team.  Archie was smart, athletic, and wasn’t afraid to go outside the pocket or scramble to make plays or score.  I believe that’s what you would call a Mobile Quarterback in modern sports writing lingo.   He was ahead of his time.  It makes you wonder what kind of stats Archie would put up if he was in today’s NFL (behind a competitive Saints offensive line).

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Throwback – Tampa Bay Buccaneers

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Team Colors

Note: Names not official
Red
Orange
White

Bo Jackson, one of the greatest athletes in the 20th Century, was a prime 1986 draft pick and the Buccaneers had the #1 draft position.  Hugh Culverhouse, owner of the Buccaneers at the time, took Bo on a private jet to visit the facilities and show Bo around.  The use of the private jet violated NCAA policies, which made Bo ineligible to play baseball for the rest of his senior year at Auburn.

Bo was devastated.  He loved both football and baseball.  He felt Hugh was forcing him to sign with the Bucs by ending all chances of playing baseball in college.  Bo swore to never sign with the Bucs.  He played professional baseball with the Kansas City Royals instead.

[There will be more on the greatness of Bo Jackson when I cover the Los Angeles Raiders eye shadow play.]

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Throwback – Dallas Cowboys

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Team Colors

Note: Names not official
Blue
White
Silver
Light Blue

I could argue that the 1970s Pittsburgh Steelers were America’s Team, not the Dallas Cowboys.  More media exposure, more Superbowl wins, and more notorious antics.  However, the 1978 Dallas Cowboys had a few things going for it:  legendary coach Tom Landry, quarterback Roger Staubach, and the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.  Nothing says ‘merica like trailblazers, badass dudes with gigantic guns athletic prowess, and beautiful ladies in barely anything hot pants.

Tom Landry created the 4-3 defense in the 1950s.  He literally changed how football was played from that time on.  Coach Pete Carroll had the Superbowl winning Seattle Seahawks use 4-3 defense.  Scouts rate potential players by how well coordinated a prospect is in a 3-4 or 4-3 defense.  To this day I think Tom is the sharpest dressed coach in football.  Something about that hat and that suit calls back to a bygone era.

Roger Staubach was the original mobile quarterback.  Most quarterbacks during Staubach’s playing days just threw the ball, not run around and throw it.  He was also credited to making the “Hail Mary pass” go beyond its football context during a playoff game against the Minnesota Vikings in 1975.

The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders pushed professional cheerleading to be less about acrobatics and more about dance.  The women (not girls) had to be physically gifted, know their football, know their Dallas Cowboys’ history, and look amazing while dancing in short shorts.  They became a big draw for live games, and developed a following that rivals the Cowboys.  Not bad for athletes that are relegated to the sidelines.

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Throwback – New York Giants

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Team Colors

Note: Names not official
Blue
White
Red

I was still in diapers when Lawrence Taylor, linebacker for the New York Giants, made Redskins’ quarterback Joe Theisman’s right leg break.  I’m not sure how the film crew for The Blind Side got footage of the play in such high definition.  Watching replays still make me protectively hold my right knee.

I’m not sure why the 1980s Giants are not hyped as much a the 1980s 49ers or the 1980s Chicago Bears.  The Giants became a powerful defense oriented team that gave other Superbowl contenders of the era a run for their money.  Or maybe because I live in California so I only hear of the power and glory of the 1980s 49ers.

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Bonus – Makeup Brush Bandolier

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Behold my latest attempt at DIY.  A practical thing I really needed but found nothing that could satisfy my needs.  I wanted to fit assorted brushes and cleaners that doesn’t involve a fanny pack.  I also wanted to channel the 1980s movie action heroes of my youth.  So the best of both worlds with a bandolier that I made myself.  I did a few brushes for this demonstration.  I used seat belt material, parachute clasps, elastic, heavyweight thread, and a large needle that I purchased in total for under US$20.  I don’t have a sewing machine so it was all (badly) hand stitched by me.

All I really did was place the seat belt material flat on a table, put a brush barrel down for size reference, and looped elastic around the brush.  I secured the size with a pin and began sewing from there. I would change the brushes around so I could get a variety of brushes to fit.   Some of my brushes have Brush Guards on them to help keep their shape.

More pictures in case you need them.

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Throwback – Philadelphia Eagles

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Team Colors

Note: Names not official
Green
Silver
White

Full discretion: I did not know about Vince Papale until the movie Invincible.  The movie depicted the life of another guy named Vince Papale in an alternate universe where Philadelphia sports had a drought.  Let’s not forget that the Flyers (hockey), 76ers (basketball), and the Phillies (baseball) were favored teams in their sports during the time this movie was set.  Things were bad in Philadelphia but not as terrible as the movie depicts.

Here’s the story of an out of luck local kid who becomes a popular pro athlete after a lot of  intense training and determination.  Coincidence? Philadelphia didn’t think so either.  Rocky came out in 1976, the same year Vince Papale began his football career.  It wasn’t too much of a stretch to have Vince’s nickname during his pro days as Rocky.

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Throwback – Washington Redskins

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Team Colors

Note: Names not official
Burgany
Gold

How do we stop knee injuries in football?  Redskins’ quarterback Robert Griffin III suffered one towards the end of the 2013 regular season.  Imposing more severe penalties for knee strikes seem to be a Band-Aid solution to a larger problem: Defenses are trained to stop the quarterback at whatever the cost.  This may include having to fly like armored superheroes to tackle the quarterback.  Unfortunately gravity takes effect during this launch and a hit intended for the midsection (a “clean hit” to NFL officials) drifts downwards towards the knee (not legal to NFL officials).

Have sympathy for the defense, too.  There seems to be three times as many defense rules and penalties in order to protect the offense, specifically the quarterback.  Smaller hit boxes and fast moving, sneaky offenses.

The solution?  Force field football.  In the future I’m sure we’ll have the technology to make every player have a protective force field/bubble.  If the defending player gets too close to a no-no spot (say, the neck of a quarterback) during a play they’ll just bounce off the QB’s force field.  The play continues until referee stoppage and the penalized player is literally thrown out of play.  Don’t think the offense has it easy.  With the force field we can accurately show if indeed a receiver was within bounds, with ball control, and two feet on the ground at the end of a play.  In a pileup the ball can be accurately placed on who last held it on the whistle.  In my head every player has a glowing force field like they went Super Saiyan.  Don’t like that?  Have less throwing plays and more run plays you pass-happy NFL.  I am sure there would be fewer injuries on expensive QBs if there was more balanced offensive play calling.

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